We're painted red to fit right in

[karappo]

[For the last six months, the Matsuno household has been abnormally quiet.

There's no running up and down the stairs. No boistrous chatter over breakfast. No brawls breaking out in the bedroom at night. No games of Mahjong on a cold night and then yet more fights breaking out over that.

There is silence.

Only three people have been living in that house, and it's quieter than it's ever been. The only brother- the eldest- remaining rarely left it anymore. He rarely left the bedroom upstairs, to be precise. Sometimes he'd venture up onto the roof, but even that got too hard to swallow with all the constant reminders of how they'd all left him.

One by one, they all left. Not a single one of them had come back since, not even to check up on one another.

It had taken about this long for Osomatsu to finally stop caring. After all, it seemed like he cared a lot more than anyone else did. It was the only reason he was still even here, sleeping in an empty futon and eating his meals around an empty table. Eventually he did this less and less and left the futon only long enough to relieve himself. Back to bed, back to sleep, back to unconsciousness where he didn't have to think unless he started dreaming. He didn't talk to his parents much, but when he did he still had a knack for making things seem okay when they really weren't. It's the only reason he was able to scoot by barely living until his body just couldn't take it anymore.

Karamatsu had been sleeping in after having yet another failed interview when he was awoken to Chibita shaking him roughly and trying to give him the phone. "It's for you, idjit," Karamatsu barely made out as he fumbled the phone a few times before blearily getting it to his ear. Within a minute of receiving the phone and hanging it up, Karamatsu had thrown his clothes on and bolted out the door without telling Chibita what was going on. He hadn't even gotten any of his things, he just.

Went.

Osomatsu wasn't doing well. It was like, ever since his brothers left, he just...hadn't gotten better. Matsuyo didn't even know what to do to help her oldest son anymore, but she had known that his brothers would want to be there with him if he was this bad off. Karamatsu, for his part, couldn't believe it. Osomatsu, of all of them? Surely not...

And yet, it was unfortunately true. Karamatsu had actually been the first Matsuyo got hold of since he was living close by with Chibita. It had given Karamatsu a chance to see Osomatsu alone, which he was grateful for. The Osomatsu he'd come home to wasn't the Osomatsu he'd left, wasn't even the Osomatsu he'd dragged out of the room that night before Choromatsu left. He was buried under months of depression and what was left was battered and nearly completely withered away. That alone was enough to completely shatter Karamatsu's heart, but what he really couldn't take was seeing his younger siblings filter home one by one.

Jyushimatsu. Todomatsu. Choromatsu.

Two days passed and only five sons were home. Osomatsu was getting worse. He'd stopped eating entirely and would barely tolerate water. Not only that, but the fourth of their number- Ichimatsu- was nowhere to be found. He couldn't be contacted. No job, no number, no home. It was like he'd vanished off the face of the earth. Before Matsuyo could completely expire from the stress, though, Karamatsu offered himself up to go find him. He'd take Todomatsu's phone with him so he could keep in touch, just in case. The others should stay behind with Osomatsu.

That had been three hours ago, and now Karamatsu found himself in a largely unfamiliar ward of Tokyo. After a light-speed search of their hometown, he'd begun asking around. Have you seen someone who looks like me?

No. Sorry. Nobody like that.

Where was he?

Karamatsu couldn't stop looking, he had to be somewhere here. He didn't care if he got looks for shouting in the streets, because he knew his voice among all of theirs was the most recognizable should Ichimatsu happen to hear it.

He had to be here.]

Comments

[karappo]

[He ends up giving a sort of noncommittal noise at that, knowing that arguing with Ichimatsu over this would probably be pointless.

That actually isn't his question here, because he'd been talking to Matsuyo quite a bit before he left to search for him.]

...but you stayed longer than the rest of us.

[ichimyatsu]

[His expression falls, despite being largely deadpan, and he ducks away to hide behind his brother's shoulder again.]

I didn't want to leave in the first place.

[karappo]

[He sighs, a deep sort of noise that doesn't sound like it should be coming from Karamatsu at all.]

I am really not sure any of us did.

[Choromatsu left first and that was his own decision. But after that...everyone started leaving because it felt like the 'right' thing to do. Like they all needed to get jobs and make something of themselves.

Except for Osomatsu.]

[ichimyatsu]

[He doesn't want to be talking about this. Not even a little bit. Least of all with Karamatsu. He closes his eyes and shifts his arms, shaking his head with his forehead against Karamatsu's shoulder so he can feel the gesture, slow as it is.]

[He'd watched them all leave, and refused to say anything about it. Choromatsu they all expected to get a job someday anyway. He'd been half-assedly trying for so long, because he always acted like he thought he was different. He was maybe the only one of them with the drive to be self-sufficient, anyway. Todomatsu had left because he was mad, mostly, from what Ichimatsu could tell, with a black eye and a weight to his step none of them mentioned. Ichimatsu hadn't even seen Karamatsu leave-- and that wasn't only because he went to new lengths to ignore him with their numbers dwindling. The second-born had just been gone one day, and Ichimatsu hadn't ever known why or where he'd gone. He didn't blame him, really. With how Osomatsu had become it was like he was the oldest anyway, and all of them knew that was probably too much for him. He tried, and he cared more about the lot of them as a whole than probably anyone but their mother, but there were some things that even a soul made of glitter and love couldn't do. Jyushimatsu leaving had probably been the hardest, because he couldn't react. Jyushimatsu knew him better than all of them, possibly knew him better than he knew himself, and he'd have seen through any false happiness he showed for his baby brother's success. So he'd congratulated him, and then he'd shut down. And it was too much-- having Osomatsu shut down and shut everyone out, coupled with Ichimatsu's pre-existing hateful nature...]

[He licks his lips, frowning before asking a question that would reroute the conversation in another way he wasn't ready for.]

...what happened, with Osomatsu?

[If it went the way he thought, he may as well have been killing his brother himself.]

[karappo]

[This probably isn't a conversation they should be having on the side of the road, but it's also not one they should be having on a bus. It's not one that he wants to have anywhere, but there's really no avoiding it at this point. He's just not really sure where or how to begin.]

From what I could gather, he's...not been doing well for some time.

[Probably since Choromatsu left, but that's rather obvious.]

It was not until more recently that things downturned. I was called first, then Choromatsu...and the others have gotten home within the last week. You were the last one we needed to find.

[ichimyatsu]

[He stays very still, taking a very slow intake of breath to keep it from rattling. The only thing of him that really moves at all is his face, hidden against Karamatsu's shoulder where it can't be seen. He seems to forget that being pressed against him means Karamatsu can probably feel the way his eyebrows scrunch together and he mouths words but makes no sound.]

[It's a period of silence before he starts shaking, but he tries to extract himself from Karamatsu again as the bus starts to pull up to divert attention from that.]

[He shouldn't have left. He didn't want to, but he couldn't handle the atmosphere, so he'd run away, knowing full well it wouldn't bring anything. Knowing full well that he'd just be in the position he was, starved and half-dead. He'd had some misplaced idea that maybe, if he removed himself, Osomatsu might wake up. He wasn't selfish enough to think that he was the source of his brother's depression, they all knew it was because Choromatsu had started a chain reaction and Osomatsu never did want to grow up, but-- If he'd stayed, if he'd been strong enough to pretend to be okay for someone else, to walk him through it, to help him, maybe--]

--bus is here.

[karappo]

[He feels it, but he doesn't call him out on it. What he does do instead is to gently tighten his grip around Ichimatsu's legs, just briefly. Just to let him know he's still here and that whatever Ichimatsu is thinking is probably something being way overthought.

And then, the bus arrives.

Karamatsu shifts, looking up at the doors to the side of the bus as the driver opens them, giving the two brothers something of a look in the process. He doesn't get up immediately so it'll be easier to reach into his pocket for some coins to pay the fare. Once they're in hand (uncounted, he can keep the change), Karamatsu lifts both himself and Ichimatsu up off the bench so he can board the bus to the next ward.]

[ichimyatsu]

[He sucks in a sharp breath and latches back onto Karamatsu's shoulders when he stands up, kicking him weakly in the hip as they go.]

I told you I can get on a bus-- [He warbles, but it betrays him in how it shakes. He can't even force any malice into his tone, and his arms shift to keep him on his brother without Karamatsu having to adjust. He presses his face into his shoulder when he realizes it's easier to not fight, curling inward.]

[karappo]

[Sorry Ichimatsu; either Karamatsu ignored that or actually didn't hear you, because either way you're getting carried onto the bus. He'll of course put him down once they're on the bus. This is likely going to be a bit of a ride, as will the second bus they're going to have to take. He wishes he'd brought something to eat, or water at the very least.

Karamatsu is careful in setting Ichimatsu down on the seat next to him, letting him take his time to pull away. Ichimatsu will probably be able to see him quickly- and attempt to be discreet about it- checking Totty's phone from inside his hoodie pocket.

0 new messages, 0 missed calls. For better or worse.]

[ichimyatsu]

[Immediately upon being set down, he curls his knees back to himself, toeing off his shoes to let them sit on the floor of the bus below him. His arms circle around his knees and he doesn't fully hide his face but looks like he might be considering it. The bus driver may very well know Ichimatsu, he's taken the bus a few places before, and Yuki probably had a photograph of him she kept to show locals when she was trying to find him. What's probably stranger is that there are two of him-- if you squint. Karamatsu is very obviously what Ichimatsu could look like if he were healthy and took a shower, even if the latter has made a rapid six month decline into looking like more of a ghost of his family's visage.]

[He glowers over his arms at Karamatsu as he checks the phone and tilts his head at the device, quirking his mouth. Wasn't that...?]

...Totty let you use his phone?

[karappo]

[...ah.

Karamatsu quickly pushes the phone back into his pocket, nodding a little shortly after.]

M...mom wanted me to have a way to still be in contact while I was gone.

[ichimyatsu]

[There's a certain amount of finality to that statement. Mom wanted him to have a means of contact. Totty let him use his phone. Totty never wanted his phone out of his hand, much less two wards away from him. Things... Must have really been bad.]

[He makes an affirmative sound and settles against his knees, frowning at his bag.]

...are we going home, or straight to the hospital?

[karappo]

[Karamatsu's attention is currently on the back of the seat in front of him, but his mind couldn't be farther off. It takes him a moment to answer because of this, even though he doesn't have much to say.]

Home.

[Whether Osomatsu is home or actually at a hospital is a mystery, but one thing's for certain: if Ichimatsu went straight there himself without getting his own needs seen about first, he would probably have to be admitted right alongside Osomatsu.]

[ichimyatsu]

[He nods, closing his eyes.]

[He had a few changes of clothes in his bag that were still "clean". He didn't really consider anything he owned clean anymore, but he hadn't worn them since Yuki had put them in his bag again this time. It wasn't a nice outfit, and it probably didn't match, but he figured clean clothing and a bath would make him at least marginally presentable if any of his siblings could ignore how skinny he was and how slow he moved.]

...I'll. Take a bath, if that's okay. I don't wanna stink up the place.

[karappo]

...okay?

[Karamatsu echoes, finally looking back over at Ichimatsu as the bus continues to putter down the road.]

Of course it's okay.

[Then he pauses, looking back at the seat.]

It is still your home, too.

[ichimyatsu]

[He swallows, setting his jaw and frowning, leaning sideways against the window.]

...mmn.

[karappo]

[Karamatsu draws his lower lip between his teeth, realizing that maybe he could have said that better.]

...whatever you need. It is fine. I will help you however I can.

[ichimyatsu]

[He closes his eyes for a while, and looks sidelong at Karamatsu when he opens them. He doesn't really know how to begin to process what's happening. Osomatsu is sick-- dying, probably, because he didn't know how to sort out depression enough to find what helped. He chews on the inside of his lip and unfolds himself from his seat enough to sit back against the seatback and really look at his brother.]

[He thought about asking what he'd been doing since he left. Was he working? Where did he live, now? But none of the questions seemed appropriate, or... Worth it, really. He moved one hand, setting it between them on their seats.]

...just, a bath, I think.

[karappo]

[Food and water would be good, too, but he's not going to force it into Ichimatsu. The fact that he's getting him off the streets is good enough. He just wishes it weren't under such awful circumstances.

For a few minutes after simply nodding to Ichimatsu, Karamatsu lets a silence settle between them. When he speaks again, it's softly with his hands having long since slipped into his hoodie pockets, one hand cupping Todomatsu's phone to feel for it vibrating. Just in case.]

You can sleep, if you want. I will wake you when it is time to get off.

[ichimyatsu]

[He curls and uncurls his hand into a fist between them, shifting and dropping his weight sideways so his head is on Karamatsu's shoulder. His arm closer to the window curls behind his knees, and he folds himself up to be impossibly small, fidgeting for a moment.]

...Karamatsu.

[karappo]

[He doesn't move when he feels Ichimatsu's head come to rest on his shoulder, though he does look over at his brother out of the corner of his eye.]

Mm?

[ichimyatsu]

[He doesn't move closer, even if he wants to, and he keeps his eyes trained on his hand between them.]

...do you think Osomatsu will be okay?

1/3

[karappo]

[. . .]

[karappo]

[. . . . . .]

[karappo]

[Karamatsu's head ducks forward just a little as he looks away again, his own hands going stiff in his pockets.]

...I hope so, Ichimatsu.